The Pre-referral Call!

On January 16th, I headed out for a day of shopping with some girlfriends. I received a phone call with a potential pre-referral! I thought, "Oh no...is this what I want?" I decided to call back later when we could talk and I could gather my thoughts. Now my husband was out of town and I would have to get a hold of him. I told my girlfriends that I felt guilty because so many families wait by the phone for this special call and here I was putting it off!

When I returned home, my son, home for college, and daughter were ready to see the movie I promised them, "Slumdog Millionaire". I quickly called about the pre-referral and wrote down some quick information before heading out to the movie. Eventhough there was email information about our little guy being forwarded, I still didn't know if I was ready to see it!

As soon as we returned, our daughter ran to the computer and pulled up the photos. She screamed her excitement at the adorable little boy staring back at her! "Oh boy" I thought, "here we go!" I came over to see for myself...that sweet little face of our 8-year-old "pre"referral. If we were interested in pursuing it further, we had till Monday (3 days) to decide. "Let's talk to dad..."

My poor husband. We put all the pressure on him as I knew he had the most to give up for this adoption...time, money, energy and retirement. He had thought he also was starting to enjoy the freedom of grown kids! I told him either way, we are fine with the decision. By Sunday, he would have an answer.

On Sunday, my husband drove our son back to college and took the long rode home to reflect on where his life was and where he wanted it to go. Our daughter and I waited for his return and decision. Little did he know that in the meantime, we had shared the news with all of our friends and they too, were awaiting his decision.

When he came home, after relaxing a bit, I got my nerve up to ask. (Somewhat paraphrased) he responded like this: "There are many reasons why I don't know if this is the right thing. There are many obstacles and I don't think I can afford another child. I always think in life, there are these moments when you are teetering on a limb and you wonder if you should jump. So, I am going to jump!"

And so we said "yes!"