These beautiful children who come from nothing don't take long before they look for everything. I have seen and heard the struggles of families who, through their graciousness, sacrifice to bring a child into their life, family and home, only to find out it isn't "enough".
Children are the same all over the world! If it is there, they want it, ask for it, beg for it and if you don't deliver it...complain. It's hard for other's to understand that these children who come from nothing (remember that we think it was "nothing") ask for everything. People always ask me "does he just appreciate all that you have done?" My response is "does any child?"
If you are expecting your adopted child to be amazed by this new life and constantly thank you for "saving" him, forget it. What you more than likely will hear is "why can't I have a cell phone? why don't I have a TV in my room? when do I get my own computer? Playstation2 is old, everyone has an XBox!"
It's a frustration to them that they expected to come to America where money is aplenty and so are things. Where all you have to do is ask and you shall receive. Where you keep all the freedoms of before, but add on the good stuff.
When people look surprised by this, I tell them: If someone walked up to you and handed you a bag of diamonds and said "I want you to have this, but you may only use it when I say so and you must do everything I tell you to do." Would you take it? Or, would you rather have your freedom? For our precious one, he would rather have the freedom to do what he wants when he wants with whatever he wants. Keep your playstation, DVD's and house. I'll just sleep outside. Can't motivate someone who had nothing, right?
So, if you are looking for the moment of joyous gratitude, wait a little longer. It will come when they move out.
On the other hand, he was enthusiastically thankful tonight when I put the old computer in his room to play on. Hope it holds up, or we may be asking for a new one! A friend once told me that a mother's job is to provide food, love and a place to sleep. So, when my son once yelled angrily,"You never buy me anything!" I replied, "What?! I bought you bananas!"
Big Round World, Small Square Box
7 months ago