I have always been puzzled by adoptive moms feeling hurt by the fact that there is a birth mom still wanting contact with their own child...until now. As you know, Eli has a mother who is ill and could not care for him, nor offer him a future. A few weeks ago, Eli announced that he plans to someday go home to Ethiopia and see his mom. He would like to work hard to buy her a house. I felt a twinge of hurt that he wanted to leave, and maybe a bit of surprise because I thought he understood that she wouldn't be there. However, my heart melted at the idea that he wanted to do such a thing and still loved his mom and wasn't angry with her.
Yesterday, I found out that there is a letter on its way from Ethiopia from his mom. Again, I have this feeling of uncertainty. At the beginning, I felt like this would be a beautiful thing. Now, I am apprehensive. What is the letter about? Will it be a positive thing, or bring about sadness? We have made leaps and bounds in the almost 3months he has been with us, and I want to continue moving forward. On the other hand, as his birth mom, I would worry if he would ever receive this letter, wonder if he is forgetting me or even hates me. I know from a mother's standpoint that giving her only child up was a difficult and devastating choice. I feel like my role is to finish the upbringing of this little boy and give him the chance he deserves.
I hope that this letter will give him strength to move forward and reinforce that his mother loves him and supports him in this new life. For me, I have to remind myself that he spent 9 years learning from this amazing woman. He is an energetic, brave and happy little boy with an "infectious" smile and such a blessing to our family...and it's all a credit to her! I pray this letter will comfort him.
Big Round World, Small Square Box
3 months ago