Monday, September 21, 2009

Letter From Birth Mom...

I have always been puzzled by adoptive moms feeling hurt by the fact that there is a birth mom still wanting contact with their own child...until now. As you know, Eli has a mother who is ill and could not care for him, nor offer him a future. A few weeks ago, Eli announced that he plans to someday go home to Ethiopia and see his mom. He would like to work hard to buy her a house. I felt a twinge of hurt that he wanted to leave, and maybe a bit of surprise because I thought he understood that she wouldn't be there. However, my heart melted at the idea that he wanted to do such a thing and still loved his mom and wasn't angry with her.

Yesterday, I found out that there is a letter on its way from Ethiopia from his mom. Again, I have this feeling of uncertainty. At the beginning, I felt like this would be a beautiful thing. Now, I am apprehensive. What is the letter about? Will it be a positive thing, or bring about sadness? We have made leaps and bounds in the almost 3months he has been with us, and I want to continue moving forward. On the other hand, as his birth mom, I would worry if he would ever receive this letter, wonder if he is forgetting me or even hates me. I know from a mother's standpoint that giving her only child up was a difficult and devastating choice. I feel like my role is to finish the upbringing of this little boy and give him the chance he deserves.

I hope that this letter will give him strength to move forward and reinforce that his mother loves him and supports him in this new life. For me, I have to remind myself that he spent 9 years learning from this amazing woman. He is an energetic, brave and happy little boy with an "infectious" smile and such a blessing to our family...and it's all a credit to her! I pray this letter will comfort him.


  1. I'll be praying for him and you! Biruktawit received some pictures awhile back and she got really sad, so it's not easy on them, but it will be a good thing to have. It's been easier then I thought it would knowing that my little girl has another mother that she loves. I am not her only mother, but she has shown me she loves me as much as any daughter loves their mom. These kids have so much love to give. You are in our prayers. Eli has a good heart!

  2. From my perspective, Eli is fortunate to have that loving connection. I pray God will use this to encourage him and that he'll help you continue to move forward in your new family bonds too! Love ya.

  3. Families come in all shapes and sizes and he will understand at some point (maybe even now) that he is very lucky to be loved by so many people and that so many people want to be a part of his life. This will somehow all work to his advantage even if it's hard to see the "how" right now. Lots of families are "blended" because of divorce and remarriage. It's not the same as what you have done, but it's not too different either. It is good that he is loved by so many. A very lucky young man.

    I will pray for peace and G-d's will in your family.

  4. I love the honesty of your post...and I understand your feelings. I never understood the "jealousy" over a birth family either, but I have to admit that I've felt it a time or two since we've been home.

    We'll pray that the letter will be a blessing. God's in charge of that too, you know!


  5. hellooooo, sorry it's been so long, there's always the option to read the letter and save it for when you think he's ready, will be praying for wisdom

  6. Thank you for sharing your heart on this matter. And thank you for checking on our little one in June. Pop by our blog anytime and say hello. Your family is beautiful.